The Secret to Longtime Friend Groups
By Randi Mazzella
In high school, I had a wonderful friend group. Today I’m still close friends with women from that original group. Our friendships have continued for 40 years. Here’s how we’ve stayed connected.
Longtime friends don’t hold grudges
We all did things, especially as teens and young adults, that we wish we hadn’t. We hurt one another. We have apologized, made amends and moved on. There is no room in a longtime friendship for grudges.
Each friend in a group will have a different bond with the others. Some members of the group will be closer to certain friends than others. In my case, everyone in my high school group lives in New York, while I live in New Jersey. I know they sometimes get together without me, and that’s OK. For a longtime friend group to work, everyone must be comfortable with their place within the group.
Longtime friends prioritize one another
Good friends don’t take one another for granted. Yes, sometimes a friend will take days to return a call or text. But for longtime friendships to be sustained, all the group members need to value and nourish the connection.
Sometimes life gets in the way of plans. Longtime friends don’t get upset if someone needs to bail, even if the plans were made weeks or months in advance.
Longtime friends are there for one another
When a longtime friend in the group needs you, you are there for that person. Recently, I lost my father. While I received amazing support from all my friends, I was especially comforted by my high school crew, who knew my dad when the group members grew up together.